The busyness of my life is like a whirlwind. I fly from place to place seldom with time to slow down and think. Each day seems to drag by but as I look back I have no memory of the last four months. It seems like only days since last semester. The summer has come and gone and so has the first quarter of school. I have done so much and yet so little. Indistinct flashes of memories and thoughts is all there is.
I have lost myself in my busyness. People ask, “How are you doing?” and I answer “I am doing good.” Am I really? I don’t know. I have not taken the time to stop and think to evaluate how I stand with God, how I feel emotionally, socially or physically. How I stand with God: my relationship with Him is strained. It is better than it was a year ago, but I can tell it is not getting stronger rather it is becoming shorter like a candle that is burning that will soon run out of wax. I fear if I don’t invest some more time I may burn out. Emotionally, I feel fairly well but once again I feel like I am losing my reserve. Socially, I am not sure where I sit. While at WSU I feel very alone, but other places I almost feel stifled by everyone around me. As if I had just finished running a race, I need to stop and take a breath of fresh air. Physically, here too I am wearing down. There are not injuries to speak of - at least no serious ones. Weariness is creeping in and rest seems so distant. God will raise me up. He will add more wax to the candle.
Two weeks ago a forgiveness series wrapped up at Crosswinds community church. Through that series God dealt with some un-forgiveness in my life. I had been harboring bitterness in my heart towards a sister in Christ. This bitterness was draining me of energy and standing in between God and I. The first couple of nights God revealed this bitterness to me and the last night He gave me the grace to release my pain over to Him. Now I can say, to this sister in Christ, “You are forgiven.” Through that act alone God restored much of my energy.
I may still be tired and heavy laden but I know God will take care of me. I keep hearing Him say “Trust me and continue on, I will not let you fall.” A couple of verses keep coming to mind. Matt. 11:28-29 “"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Isaiah 40:29-31 “He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.” Last of all, Psalms 23:1-2 “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
September 10, 2009
August 16, 2009
Testify
Hello all, it has been a long time since my last post. For that I am sorry. This summer has been extremely busy. God has been teaching me so much I am disappointed that I have not been able to share it.
Tonight I just want to take a few moments and testify how great is our God! He is so gracious to me a sinner. Every time I fall away He calls me back. He is forgiving and abounding in love. No matter how many times I fail. He still surrounds me with His love and comfort. Nothing I can do can separate me from the Love of Christ. I thank God that His faithfulness is not based on my behavior. 2 Timothy 2:13 "If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." God is so good to me.
The last few days have been awesome. God has filled me with Joy. I am eagerly waiting what He has in store for my life. He has given me a hope for the future which I don't understand. God is so good! School starts this week. Never before have I excitedly anticipated school. The Lord is on the move.
The closer I draw to Christ I realize what a wretched man I am. My desperate need for a savior becomes ever clearer. With every victory comes the knowledge of how far I am from perfection, but with every lose comes the knowledge that His grace is sufficient for me. What a mighty God we serve.
Romans 7:24-25
Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Servant of the Most High God,
Titus
Tonight I just want to take a few moments and testify how great is our God! He is so gracious to me a sinner. Every time I fall away He calls me back. He is forgiving and abounding in love. No matter how many times I fail. He still surrounds me with His love and comfort. Nothing I can do can separate me from the Love of Christ. I thank God that His faithfulness is not based on my behavior. 2 Timothy 2:13 "If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." God is so good to me.
The last few days have been awesome. God has filled me with Joy. I am eagerly waiting what He has in store for my life. He has given me a hope for the future which I don't understand. God is so good! School starts this week. Never before have I excitedly anticipated school. The Lord is on the move.
The closer I draw to Christ I realize what a wretched man I am. My desperate need for a savior becomes ever clearer. With every victory comes the knowledge of how far I am from perfection, but with every lose comes the knowledge that His grace is sufficient for me. What a mighty God we serve.
Romans 7:24-25
Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Servant of the Most High God,
Titus
June 4, 2009
Trust
Over the past few days God has been teaching me a lot. There were three main things that He showed me. All of them point to trust.
The first one is found in Ephesians 6. Shawn Ammons talked about this passage on Monday during morning devotions at camp. It is about putting on the armor of God so that you can stand against the Devil. After reading Ephesians 6:15, Shawn said something that really caught my attention. He said “If you are not at peace then you have a trust issue.” At first I tried to deny it in my own heart, but God did not let that happen. He pointed out a couple of areas that I was not at peace and showed me that I did not trust Him. I asked the question do I need to submit to God’s control in these areas.
The next two things came on Tuesday. I had spent the evening playing the computer. I played until around twelve o-clock and then headed to bed. I laid down on my bed and started to feel very guilty about my day. I had wasted the evening and I had sinned against God. I turned to my night stand to turn off my light but instead I picked up my bible. I opened it randomly and began to read. I read three verses Galatians 6: 7, 8, & 9, which say:
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
Those verses hit me hard. It was as if God had just said “The reason you sinned tonight is because you have been sowing to the flesh. If you spend time with me then I will give you the strength to overcome.” These three verses pointed out to me another area in which I was not trusting God. I did not believe that I would truly reap what I sowed. I had been living with the attitude that it didn’t really matter how much time I had spent with God. I was not trusting God that my time spent reading the bible and in prayer would be worthwhile.
The last thing God showed me happened just after I stopped praying. I opened the bible once again and read Psalm 149. It talks about praising God. I realized that I could not praise God if I did not trust Him. It is not possible to be thankful in a bad situation if you do not trust that God will work it out.
Trust is such a key element in our relationship with Christ. I would encourage you to take a few moments and ask God to reveal areas of your life in which trust is lacking.
The first one is found in Ephesians 6. Shawn Ammons talked about this passage on Monday during morning devotions at camp. It is about putting on the armor of God so that you can stand against the Devil. After reading Ephesians 6:15, Shawn said something that really caught my attention. He said “If you are not at peace then you have a trust issue.” At first I tried to deny it in my own heart, but God did not let that happen. He pointed out a couple of areas that I was not at peace and showed me that I did not trust Him. I asked the question do I need to submit to God’s control in these areas.
The next two things came on Tuesday. I had spent the evening playing the computer. I played until around twelve o-clock and then headed to bed. I laid down on my bed and started to feel very guilty about my day. I had wasted the evening and I had sinned against God. I turned to my night stand to turn off my light but instead I picked up my bible. I opened it randomly and began to read. I read three verses Galatians 6: 7, 8, & 9, which say:
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
Those verses hit me hard. It was as if God had just said “The reason you sinned tonight is because you have been sowing to the flesh. If you spend time with me then I will give you the strength to overcome.” These three verses pointed out to me another area in which I was not trusting God. I did not believe that I would truly reap what I sowed. I had been living with the attitude that it didn’t really matter how much time I had spent with God. I was not trusting God that my time spent reading the bible and in prayer would be worthwhile.
The last thing God showed me happened just after I stopped praying. I opened the bible once again and read Psalm 149. It talks about praising God. I realized that I could not praise God if I did not trust Him. It is not possible to be thankful in a bad situation if you do not trust that God will work it out.
Trust is such a key element in our relationship with Christ. I would encourage you to take a few moments and ask God to reveal areas of your life in which trust is lacking.
April 11, 2009
In Response to “Questions”
The following is written in response to my earlier post “Questions”. It is my best attempt at answering many of them. There are some that I do not understand and some I never will. I am not worried about the ones I can’t answer, because I know I serve a loving, merciful, powerful, just, and wise God.
Why do I keep making the same mistakes?
Why don’t I succeed?
Why do I do the things I do?
Why don’t I do what is right?
I keep making the same mistakes, because I am a sinful human. Romans 6 says that when Christ was killed on the cross my sinful nature was killed as well. It goes onto say that, because of Christ’s death I am no longer a slave to sin. A slave has no choice, but to serve his master. Since I am no longer a slave to sin I have a choice. This raises the question “Why do I chose what is wrong?” The answer is this; there is battle raging in my soul. It is the question of whether or not I will live by the Sprit or by the flesh. Galatians 5:16 says “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” So the answer is if I walked by the Spirit I would not continue to make mistakes.
Paul does a much better job answering the first four questions then I do in Romans 6:15-25.
For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.
Does my life still have worth?
Does God still love me?
Does He still care?
Does He regret making me?
These questions have caused me lots of pain. For a long time in my life I believed the answer to be; No my life is worthless, God could not love me now, He no longer cares, and yes He regrets it. I believed these lies for about five years. I originally became a Christian around age five. The first couple of years of being a Christian were great, but ever so slowly I began to fall away. By the time I was in the 8th grade I had come to the place that I believed I had done so many bad things that God could no longer love me. I would not accept myself and I was convinced neither would God. I could not have been more wrong. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Also, John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have ever lasting life.” And then Ephesians 2:8 says “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;”
I was forgetting these verses. I was basing my salvation on works. If I had earned it would not be grace. Also, if Christ died for me while I was a sinner would it stop Him from loving me if I sinned again? I think not. Even after realizing these two things it was still hard to deal with the question “Am I worth anything?” One night while crying out to God about my own worthlessness, He pointed out to me, “You are worth the life of my son. You are worth the pain that I went through on the cross”. That is when I finally realized God loves me and my life is important to Him. He bought me with a price (worth) the price of His son. I am so thankful for this. I will never stop praising Him for His sacrifice and for giving me worth.
How much pain have I caused Him?
How many times do I have to try before I get it right?
How many times will I try to accomplish the impossible?
How many times will I fail?
How many times will I doubt?
These questions relate to the first four. I will never know how many times I will have to try, but I do know I will have to continue trying until I completely submit my life to Christ. Once that happens I will not have to attempt the impossible, because through Christ all things are impossible. I will continue to fail every time I try to accomplish the task in my own power. I will continue to slip into doubt until I put all of my trust in God.
The first of these questions almost brings me to tears. There is no doubt that I have caused God more pain then I can imagine. It was my actions that laid His back open under the whip.
My actions lead Jesus to the cross. I drove the nails into His arms. It was not only on the cross that I have caused Him pain. Every time I choose something else over spending time with Him, I cause Him pain. God is a jealous god He greatly desires our attention and He feels pain when we ignore Him or even at times reject Him. This pain is revealed over and over in the old Testament with phrases like “you have grieved the Lord your God.” I deeply regret all the times I have caused Him pain and I am sorry for doing those things.
When will I realize it is not up to me?
When will I realize I can’t do it myself?
When will I realize I need to trust Him?
When will I realize only through Christ I succeed?
I already realize that I need these things it. The questions should have been, “When will I act on those needs?”
Do I understand He has already forgiven me?
Do I understand the depth of His love?
Do I understand the work He did on the cross?
Do I understand…?
I understand that He has forgiven me. I am so thankful for that forgiveness. I don’t understand the depth of His love. There have been times when I thought I knew the depth of His love. Every time that happened He showed me that it was still deeper. I think I sort of understand the work on the cross. I know why Jesus had to die. I know what it accomplished. I know that He did it for love. I know I am now forgiven because of that work. However, I don’t understand why He would love me enough to go through all of that. His love boggles my mind. It astonishes me over and over.
Will I give Him my life?
Will I surrender all?
Will I let Him work in me?
Will I love Him in return?
I wish I could say a resounding yes to these four questions. I wish I could say that I already have. My actions prove otherwise. Every time I sin it proves that I have failed to do one of the four. Likewise whenever I do something righteous it shows that I succeeded.
Stop and be still and know He is God
Stop and be still and know His unfailing love
Stop and be still and know His forgiveness
Stop and be still and know He is in control
Will you surrender all?
Will you slow and ponder His unfailing love?
Will you be still?
These last seven are more of a question for you. Will you join me in this struggle to do what it right. Join me in serving God. Will you take a few moments to spend some times in silence before Him? Will you do these things and give your life to Him?
Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope that God uses it to touch your life. I pray that you will learn to trust Him completely and that you will turn to Him for forgiveness.
In Christ,
Titus
Why do I keep making the same mistakes?
Why don’t I succeed?
Why do I do the things I do?
Why don’t I do what is right?
I keep making the same mistakes, because I am a sinful human. Romans 6 says that when Christ was killed on the cross my sinful nature was killed as well. It goes onto say that, because of Christ’s death I am no longer a slave to sin. A slave has no choice, but to serve his master. Since I am no longer a slave to sin I have a choice. This raises the question “Why do I chose what is wrong?” The answer is this; there is battle raging in my soul. It is the question of whether or not I will live by the Sprit or by the flesh. Galatians 5:16 says “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” So the answer is if I walked by the Spirit I would not continue to make mistakes.
Paul does a much better job answering the first four questions then I do in Romans 6:15-25.
For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.
Does my life still have worth?
Does God still love me?
Does He still care?
Does He regret making me?
These questions have caused me lots of pain. For a long time in my life I believed the answer to be; No my life is worthless, God could not love me now, He no longer cares, and yes He regrets it. I believed these lies for about five years. I originally became a Christian around age five. The first couple of years of being a Christian were great, but ever so slowly I began to fall away. By the time I was in the 8th grade I had come to the place that I believed I had done so many bad things that God could no longer love me. I would not accept myself and I was convinced neither would God. I could not have been more wrong. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Also, John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have ever lasting life.” And then Ephesians 2:8 says “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;”
I was forgetting these verses. I was basing my salvation on works. If I had earned it would not be grace. Also, if Christ died for me while I was a sinner would it stop Him from loving me if I sinned again? I think not. Even after realizing these two things it was still hard to deal with the question “Am I worth anything?” One night while crying out to God about my own worthlessness, He pointed out to me, “You are worth the life of my son. You are worth the pain that I went through on the cross”. That is when I finally realized God loves me and my life is important to Him. He bought me with a price (worth) the price of His son. I am so thankful for this. I will never stop praising Him for His sacrifice and for giving me worth.
How much pain have I caused Him?
How many times do I have to try before I get it right?
How many times will I try to accomplish the impossible?
How many times will I fail?
How many times will I doubt?
These questions relate to the first four. I will never know how many times I will have to try, but I do know I will have to continue trying until I completely submit my life to Christ. Once that happens I will not have to attempt the impossible, because through Christ all things are impossible. I will continue to fail every time I try to accomplish the task in my own power. I will continue to slip into doubt until I put all of my trust in God.
The first of these questions almost brings me to tears. There is no doubt that I have caused God more pain then I can imagine. It was my actions that laid His back open under the whip.
My actions lead Jesus to the cross. I drove the nails into His arms. It was not only on the cross that I have caused Him pain. Every time I choose something else over spending time with Him, I cause Him pain. God is a jealous god He greatly desires our attention and He feels pain when we ignore Him or even at times reject Him. This pain is revealed over and over in the old Testament with phrases like “you have grieved the Lord your God.” I deeply regret all the times I have caused Him pain and I am sorry for doing those things.
When will I realize it is not up to me?
When will I realize I can’t do it myself?
When will I realize I need to trust Him?
When will I realize only through Christ I succeed?
I already realize that I need these things it. The questions should have been, “When will I act on those needs?”
Do I understand He has already forgiven me?
Do I understand the depth of His love?
Do I understand the work He did on the cross?
Do I understand…?
I understand that He has forgiven me. I am so thankful for that forgiveness. I don’t understand the depth of His love. There have been times when I thought I knew the depth of His love. Every time that happened He showed me that it was still deeper. I think I sort of understand the work on the cross. I know why Jesus had to die. I know what it accomplished. I know that He did it for love. I know I am now forgiven because of that work. However, I don’t understand why He would love me enough to go through all of that. His love boggles my mind. It astonishes me over and over.
Will I give Him my life?
Will I surrender all?
Will I let Him work in me?
Will I love Him in return?
I wish I could say a resounding yes to these four questions. I wish I could say that I already have. My actions prove otherwise. Every time I sin it proves that I have failed to do one of the four. Likewise whenever I do something righteous it shows that I succeeded.
Stop and be still and know He is God
Stop and be still and know His unfailing love
Stop and be still and know His forgiveness
Stop and be still and know He is in control
Will you surrender all?
Will you slow and ponder His unfailing love?
Will you be still?
These last seven are more of a question for you. Will you join me in this struggle to do what it right. Join me in serving God. Will you take a few moments to spend some times in silence before Him? Will you do these things and give your life to Him?
Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope that God uses it to touch your life. I pray that you will learn to trust Him completely and that you will turn to Him for forgiveness.
In Christ,
Titus
March 25, 2009
Give me Words to speak.
Once upon a time there was a young man who was considered wise, but his wisdom was not his own. His wisdom came from the One above and from the Bible. He knew Ephesians 4:29 and did his best to always be an encouragement. He strove to follow 2 Timothy 2:14-16 by “avoiding worldly and empty chatter” and by “handling accurately the word of truth.” He contemplated James 3 and knew that no man could bride his tongue that it is a restless evil. This young man knew that through God’s power was the only way that he could control his tongue.
Slowly but surely this young man’s reputation grew. He started having deeper and deeper conversations with people. They started asking advice on more difficult subjects. He was a great encouragement to all he talked with. God was working through this man to bring other closer to Himself. All of this was not happening, because the young man was wise in himself. It was happening because he relied on God. During every conversation he was constantly praying about what he should be said next. He was listening to God and the person. He was trying to understand the depths of the problem. God often gave him eyes to see and ears to hear. These conversations were not about himself they were about showing God’s truth to the hurting.
Over and over the young man was surprised at the way God used him. He was surprised at the insight he was gaining into the heart of problems. He was surprised at the way God would give him the right words. He was thankful for being used by God to minister.
Slowly that thankfulness wore off and the young man started to think the wisdom was within himself. He became proud of his ability to help people solve their problems. As his pride grew, his ability dwindled. He started to rely on his own wisdom and on logic. No longer did he rely on God. He stopped praying during conversations and asking God what to say next. As he stopped praying he stopped being an encouragement.
At times he would remember that God is where his wisdom came from, and then he would encourage others. These instances have become less and less. His own logic ruled during conversations. He proceeded like this for a long while, but then God made him aware of his pride in this area. Once again He has started to rely on God. The cry of his heart became “Give me words to speak.”
As you may have guessed I am that young man. Pride is an issue that I have been dealing with for a long time and will continue to deal with it. God is working and breaking down that pride. Recently God has been showing me the pride I take in way I speak. He has also been showing me the importance of my words. I have been turning these things back over to Him and am trying to wait on him for what to say.
Please take a moment to look at 2 Timothy 2:14-16, Eph. 4:29, James 1:5, James 3, and Matthew 12:36-37 (see end of note/post).
Please, join with me and ask God to give you the words to speak. Let us try and only say things that are worthwhile and that will build each other up. This is what God has called us to.
To God be the glory forever and ever.
Your fellow servant of the Lord, Jesus Christ,
Titus
Matt 12:36-37 (NASB)
“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment."For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
2 Tim 2:14-16 (NASB)
Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless, and leads to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth. But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness,
Eph 4:29 (NASB)
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment so that it will give grace to those who hear.
James 1:5 (NASB)
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
James 3:4-18 (NASB
Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh. Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Slowly but surely this young man’s reputation grew. He started having deeper and deeper conversations with people. They started asking advice on more difficult subjects. He was a great encouragement to all he talked with. God was working through this man to bring other closer to Himself. All of this was not happening, because the young man was wise in himself. It was happening because he relied on God. During every conversation he was constantly praying about what he should be said next. He was listening to God and the person. He was trying to understand the depths of the problem. God often gave him eyes to see and ears to hear. These conversations were not about himself they were about showing God’s truth to the hurting.
Over and over the young man was surprised at the way God used him. He was surprised at the insight he was gaining into the heart of problems. He was surprised at the way God would give him the right words. He was thankful for being used by God to minister.
Slowly that thankfulness wore off and the young man started to think the wisdom was within himself. He became proud of his ability to help people solve their problems. As his pride grew, his ability dwindled. He started to rely on his own wisdom and on logic. No longer did he rely on God. He stopped praying during conversations and asking God what to say next. As he stopped praying he stopped being an encouragement.
At times he would remember that God is where his wisdom came from, and then he would encourage others. These instances have become less and less. His own logic ruled during conversations. He proceeded like this for a long while, but then God made him aware of his pride in this area. Once again He has started to rely on God. The cry of his heart became “Give me words to speak.”
As you may have guessed I am that young man. Pride is an issue that I have been dealing with for a long time and will continue to deal with it. God is working and breaking down that pride. Recently God has been showing me the pride I take in way I speak. He has also been showing me the importance of my words. I have been turning these things back over to Him and am trying to wait on him for what to say.
Please take a moment to look at 2 Timothy 2:14-16, Eph. 4:29, James 1:5, James 3, and Matthew 12:36-37 (see end of note/post).
Please, join with me and ask God to give you the words to speak. Let us try and only say things that are worthwhile and that will build each other up. This is what God has called us to.
To God be the glory forever and ever.
Your fellow servant of the Lord, Jesus Christ,
Titus
Matt 12:36-37 (NASB)
“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment."For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
2 Tim 2:14-16 (NASB)
Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless, and leads to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth. But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness,
Eph 4:29 (NASB)
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment so that it will give grace to those who hear.
James 1:5 (NASB)
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
James 3:4-18 (NASB
Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh. Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
March 19, 2009
What God has been teaching me
I would like to take a couple of minutes and write about a few of the things God has been teaching me lately.
On the 9th of March, I made a comment on one of my friend’s pictures. That comment started an argument that lasted two days. Each of us posted about twice a day. At the very end of the argument my friend made a comment that showed I had hurt her through me words. This caused me to stop and think. I wrote a quick, short, and not very heartfelt apology. I was sorry that I had hurt her, but I still felt like I was right. Within a couple of minutes of making this apology God started to work on my heart. After God had been operating on me for a while I wrote the following apology.
“I am sorry that we argued on facebook. After I left my last comment God showed me that I was wrong to press you. I should have just warned you and then left it at that. I am sorry that my pride has lead me once again to argue with you. God has been working on me but He is not finished yet. He showed me through this argument that I feel like I have to be right and that the person that I am talking to has to know it before the conversation is over. I am sorry that I was trying to force my views on to you. God is showing me that I need to be more graceful in those circumstances. If I have a differing opinion I should state it and leave it at that unless the person asks why I believe the way I do. I am sorry that I did not do this. I hope that you will forgive my stubbornness.”
Well, even now God is still working on my pride. As I sit and write this I have thoughts like “maybe people will read this and see how humble I am and how much better I am doing…” Pride is still strong within me, but God is working.
Fear is what God focused on next in my life. It started with a conversation with a friend. He helped me realize that I fear being alone, I fear rejection, and last of all I fear spending time with God. Also, my friend pointed out that God wants to help us overcome those fears and replace them with trust. He also said that normally this is not an easy process, but it is always worth it.
Right away God started to work on my fear of being alone. That fear actually stems from a couple of different fears. I fear being alone, because when I am alone I generally sink into a depressed state. I am afraid of that state. I don’t like the feeling also when I am depressed I make dumb mistakes. God has been taking that fear and He is showing me that I don’t have to be depressed when I am alone, because God is with me.
The last thing that God has been showing me over the past week comes from Malachi 1:6 which says “‘A son honors his father, and a servant his master, then if I am a father, where is My honor?’ And ‘if I am a master, where is My respect? Says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests…’” This verse caused me to ask myself the questions “Do I give God the honor and respect He deserves?” Also, “Do I respect my father the way I should?”
On the 9th of March, I made a comment on one of my friend’s pictures. That comment started an argument that lasted two days. Each of us posted about twice a day. At the very end of the argument my friend made a comment that showed I had hurt her through me words. This caused me to stop and think. I wrote a quick, short, and not very heartfelt apology. I was sorry that I had hurt her, but I still felt like I was right. Within a couple of minutes of making this apology God started to work on my heart. After God had been operating on me for a while I wrote the following apology.
“I am sorry that we argued on facebook. After I left my last comment God showed me that I was wrong to press you. I should have just warned you and then left it at that. I am sorry that my pride has lead me once again to argue with you. God has been working on me but He is not finished yet. He showed me through this argument that I feel like I have to be right and that the person that I am talking to has to know it before the conversation is over. I am sorry that I was trying to force my views on to you. God is showing me that I need to be more graceful in those circumstances. If I have a differing opinion I should state it and leave it at that unless the person asks why I believe the way I do. I am sorry that I did not do this. I hope that you will forgive my stubbornness.”
Well, even now God is still working on my pride. As I sit and write this I have thoughts like “maybe people will read this and see how humble I am and how much better I am doing…” Pride is still strong within me, but God is working.
Fear is what God focused on next in my life. It started with a conversation with a friend. He helped me realize that I fear being alone, I fear rejection, and last of all I fear spending time with God. Also, my friend pointed out that God wants to help us overcome those fears and replace them with trust. He also said that normally this is not an easy process, but it is always worth it.
Right away God started to work on my fear of being alone. That fear actually stems from a couple of different fears. I fear being alone, because when I am alone I generally sink into a depressed state. I am afraid of that state. I don’t like the feeling also when I am depressed I make dumb mistakes. God has been taking that fear and He is showing me that I don’t have to be depressed when I am alone, because God is with me.
The last thing that God has been showing me over the past week comes from Malachi 1:6 which says “‘A son honors his father, and a servant his master, then if I am a father, where is My honor?’ And ‘if I am a master, where is My respect? Says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests…’” This verse caused me to ask myself the questions “Do I give God the honor and respect He deserves?” Also, “Do I respect my father the way I should?”
February 27, 2009
Questions
Why do I keep making the same mistakes?
Why don’t I succeed?
Why do I do the things I do?
Why don’t I do what is right?
Does my life still have worth?
Does God still love me?
Does He still care?
Does He regret making me?
How much pain have I caused Him?
How many times do I have to try before I get it right?
How many times will I try to accomplish the impossible?
How many times will I fail?
How many times will I doubt?
When will I realize it is not up to me?
When will I realize I can’t do it myself?
When will I realize I need to trust Him?
When will I realize only through Christ I succeed?
Do I understand He has already forgiven me?
Do I understand the depth of His love?
Do I understand the work He did on the cross?
Do I understand…?
Will I give Him my life?
Will I surrender all?
Will I let Him work in me?
Will I love Him in return?
Stop and be still and know He is God
Stop and be still and know His unfailing love
Stop and be still and know His forgiveness
Stop and be still and know He is in control
Will you surrender all?
Will you slow and pounder His unfailing love?
Will you be still?
Why don’t I succeed?
Why do I do the things I do?
Why don’t I do what is right?
Does my life still have worth?
Does God still love me?
Does He still care?
Does He regret making me?
How much pain have I caused Him?
How many times do I have to try before I get it right?
How many times will I try to accomplish the impossible?
How many times will I fail?
How many times will I doubt?
When will I realize it is not up to me?
When will I realize I can’t do it myself?
When will I realize I need to trust Him?
When will I realize only through Christ I succeed?
Do I understand He has already forgiven me?
Do I understand the depth of His love?
Do I understand the work He did on the cross?
Do I understand…?
Will I give Him my life?
Will I surrender all?
Will I let Him work in me?
Will I love Him in return?
Stop and be still and know He is God
Stop and be still and know His unfailing love
Stop and be still and know His forgiveness
Stop and be still and know He is in control
Will you surrender all?
Will you slow and pounder His unfailing love?
Will you be still?
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